081116

坚持理想，保持积极态度，好事也会随之而来。=)

昨天开始都在亢奋的状态中，今天在这里纪念一下。整理照片的时候不小心删除了几张在香港 conference 的照片，已无法寻回。有点小遗憾，不过最近放下的心态挺好。之前，朋友的朋友所分享的 “断舍离” 正在很好的发挥着作用。即使少了照片，好的回忆会一直留在脑中。

拍的比较好的被删掉了，所以发一张脸臭的 （误！其实是紧张的）提醒自己继续在这条道路上努力奋斗。期望明年的这个时候可以把论文交上准备viva。^_^

~nong~

SONSOFDAY - Oceans Deep

One of them shared this song in the wechat group. Exactly the type of song that I will like and since then I have been listening to it repeatedly. I always have this habit of repeating one single song for unlimited times until I got bored. One way that I calm myself down without having the need to find a new song every time that matches my mood on that day. But, no matter how many times I listen to one song, I can never memorise the lyrics.

~yurikaz~

Screw this title thing!

I used to like writing a lot, until I enrolled into PhD and needs to write all sorts of stuff as in abstracts, manuscripts, proposals and mostly reports, tonnes of reports. Then I realised, I only like to write nonsense, something not so academic, something that I can simply write without the need to think if the sentence is too lengthy or if the tenses used matches the paragraph or if the explanation is scientific enough. Just like reading, where I have preference to only story books or novels and anything unrelated to that I don't even feel like touching it at all. And then, the moment I start to think, nah, its fine, I have had enough with words~ let me just play some game, scroll some facebook viewing some of the videos, although mostly is dumb in a way, but it is funny and most importantly I don't need to think. Until one day, I realised that my brain is stuffed with nothing very much useful and it has been a very long time since I pick up this writing habit leaving my blog in lonliness without even bother to visit it as often.. because.. I. have. got. nothing. to. share. because. my. life. is. too. boring. because. I. am. too. lazy. to. think. and. write. because. I. think. I. should. use. this. time. to. write. something.more. important. such. as. my. long. due. 'something'. and. I. know. these. are. all. lame. excuses.

Hell yeah, so here I am, back to here sharing something boring or maybe not and I have no idea on this but who cares? I just want to write something which is not related to my research. So for the past two years, I couldn't exactly remember when did I really sit down, and give a thought to something really serious like life??? okay this is boring. But then, after I had my second year viva the other day, I started to rethink about everything thanks to my assessor. So, I used to read because I know I have to, and write because I need to but without making use of my brain to tell people why are they so. Yes, why? And my assessor say, you can't just report as a report without telling people why is it happening. Then with my other PhD mates, we came out with this conclusion: 'why' the most important question in our research, we ourselves made this question up and we have to answer it ourselves, that is how dumb smart we are as a scientist. =x

3 of us were talking about this on a bench outside one of the accommodation building in UNNC with a chilly weather at night after dinner and this is when I learned a new word: sated; where your satisfaction is to the max level and you don't feel like doing anything at that time. Then I realised, after almost 6 months staying here in Ningbo, I started to feel a little reluctant to go back. Though I miss my family, my home, my king size bed, my car, my housemates aka colleagues, and most importantly Malaysia's food..... I wonder why does good bye always come after I finally get used to some places and the moment I start to get familiar with the people here and starts having friends that can hang out together. 

~nong~

莫文尉 外面的世界

~yurikaz~

270216

I used to come here and write stuff when I feel frustrated or sad. Since when have I forgot this habit of writing little things which I usually like? The last post I wrote here was on April 2015. Since then, I came here open new post then delete.. Open new post and delete again. I fear to write because I cant seem to find the right words to express my feeling.. Or maybe I am just too lazy to write.

I used to feel calm when I am here, listening to the music I have chosen myself suitable to chill and think about my life. Is this why I feel lost recently? Because I have not sit down for a moment and think about what I should do next and whether what I am heading now is correct? 

I used to imagine my life, sometimes regret but most of the time accept and look forward. But I am trapped now, in my own fantasy.

I used to have a clear vision on what I want, what I do and what will I get from it. It seems that I have lost this ability for now..

Wish I could find my courage back... 

~yurikaz~