祝你3月8日节快乐

我：今天过节欸~你为什么都不wish我？

古先生：今天过什么节？

我：你竟然不知道...

古先生：好，祝你3月8号节快乐！

"The caption is flowers for my love"

前几天和古先生因为某些事情意见不合双方都不太想和对方说话。每天除了晚上睡觉前约定的视频互道晚安也都是酷酷地说完就盖电话。

说开、和解以后古先生说：我每次想到你就生气，可是看到漂亮的花朵又忍不住想拍下来给你看。我说我本来也不想那么快就理你的，可是最后还是忍不住和你说话了 😒😒😒

16012019

遇见你，就是最美丽的邂逅，完美地结束2018年！

Random #12

~yurikaz~

Letter 002

Just some random piece of thoughts while celebrating my friend's birthday...
I hope that by the age of 30, I still get my family closed to me, few of them whom I appreciate their presence in my life and I get to wish in front of a cake for another 10 years of exciting adventures ahead. And that is all I will wish for till then. The picture for this letter? Is something in my mind after reading the beautiful short poem so I thought I should just scribble them down >.<

Extra info: People with dyslexia have difficulties in reading justify text.


~nong~

Despacito!

The suddenly hit song recently but the melody just cant get off my head and I never get boring even after listening to it for uncountable times~ The dance moves are cool too.

20062017

Second attempt~ This time I measure it nicely with ruler and rub it nicely with my fingers until I have carbon intoxication perhaps.. And I cant stop impressed by myself after finishing this, staring at it, looking at it, showing off to everybody and force them to praise me. Yea, a bad habit of mine, cant help but sharing my joy to other people forcefully.

Too much negative input recently, too many things to do and think about, like its time to write my thesis, to plan my remaining experiments, to plan my teaching course, to write reports and feedback on students, to learn how to deal with the kids, to learn how to deal with the grown ups, especially those undesirably people who think you are too free to listen to their shit.. Oh, maybe I am one of them too, throwing rubbish to other people. But since I realize it now, I will just stop it. 

Too stop all those unwanted information coming in and disturbing my mind, first thing I uninstalled was the Facebook app to prevent myself from scrolling endlessly when I should do my work. I couldn't deactivate my account yet because I have to organize the weekly volunteer work through the group (okay this is mainly just an excuse). Anyway, I also deleted all those mobile games which I used to be so addicted with but not now, clearing every single app that I used to scroll scroll click click. Fresh start huh? I hope so.

Just when I promised myself to sleep early since last Friday, I have to break that seal today. Just gone back from badminton session and I haven't even bath and mop the floor. And I already feel so tired just by thinking about tomorrow stuff. Got to teach from 8 - 9.30am and then rush back to campus for a 10am - 12.30pm training course and then meeting a student from 12.45pm till I dunno what time then I will be having a 2pm meeting with my boss for thesis write up planning. Okay, I should at least be happy about this, like finally, he decided to push me on that and I really need the kind of push. I wonder why he never scolded me even I am so bad at answering and relating my research work. Maybe if he scold me I will be mad at him for awhile then I will work in full force instead of the slacking mood like now.

~nong~

Letter 001

Had been hearing things where I previously guessed so but not daring enough to confirm it. I thought I would raged after listening but No. Even though I still feel a bit sad  and down because people whom I previously trust would understand did not act as I thought. But well, since they never affected me when I never know, I guess I shouldn't let that affect me now as well. 

Had been practicing to live my own life and those who understand me will know, as for those who don't I shouldn't care too much too. Though I am still not good enough in holding back my commenting/ complaining words on people when I promised myself to let go. So I shall continue practicing on that and stay as calm as possible… But hey, I found a new way to meditate and release those negative thoughts. So, maybe this would slow down my anger until things passed?

~nong~

081116

坚持理想，保持积极态度，好事也会随之而来。=)

昨天开始都在亢奋的状态中，今天在这里纪念一下。整理照片的时候不小心删除了几张在香港 conference 的照片，已无法寻回。有点小遗憾，不过最近放下的心态挺好。之前，朋友的朋友所分享的 “断舍离” 正在很好的发挥着作用。即使少了照片，好的回忆会一直留在脑中。

拍的比较好的被删掉了，所以发一张脸臭的 （误！其实是紧张的）提醒自己继续在这条道路上努力奋斗。期望明年的这个时候可以把论文交上准备viva。^_^

~nong~

SONSOFDAY - Oceans Deep

One of them shared this song in the wechat group. Exactly the type of song that I will like and since then I have been listening to it repeatedly. I always have this habit of repeating one single song for unlimited times until I got bored. One way that I calm myself down without having the need to find a new song every time that matches my mood on that day. But, no matter how many times I listen to one song, I can never memorise the lyrics.

~yurikaz~

Screw this title thing!

I used to like writing a lot, until I enrolled into PhD and needs to write all sorts of stuff as in abstracts, manuscripts, proposals and mostly reports, tonnes of reports. Then I realised, I only like to write nonsense, something not so academic, something that I can simply write without the need to think if the sentence is too lengthy or if the tenses used matches the paragraph or if the explanation is scientific enough. Just like reading, where I have preference to only story books or novels and anything unrelated to that I don't even feel like touching it at all. And then, the moment I start to think, nah, its fine, I have had enough with words~ let me just play some game, scroll some facebook viewing some of the videos, although mostly is dumb in a way, but it is funny and most importantly I don't need to think. Until one day, I realised that my brain is stuffed with nothing very much useful and it has been a very long time since I pick up this writing habit leaving my blog in lonliness without even bother to visit it as often.. because.. I. have. got. nothing. to. share. because. my. life. is. too. boring. because. I. am. too. lazy. to. think. and. write. because. I. think. I. should. use. this. time. to. write. something.more. important. such. as. my. long. due. 'something'. and. I. know. these. are. all. lame. excuses.

Hell yeah, so here I am, back to here sharing something boring or maybe not and I have no idea on this but who cares? I just want to write something which is not related to my research. So for the past two years, I couldn't exactly remember when did I really sit down, and give a thought to something really serious like life??? okay this is boring. But then, after I had my second year viva the other day, I started to rethink about everything thanks to my assessor. So, I used to read because I know I have to, and write because I need to but without making use of my brain to tell people why are they so. Yes, why? And my assessor say, you can't just report as a report without telling people why is it happening. Then with my other PhD mates, we came out with this conclusion: 'why' the most important question in our research, we ourselves made this question up and we have to answer it ourselves, that is how dumb smart we are as a scientist. =x

3 of us were talking about this on a bench outside one of the accommodation building in UNNC with a chilly weather at night after dinner and this is when I learned a new word: sated; where your satisfaction is to the max level and you don't feel like doing anything at that time. Then I realised, after almost 6 months staying here in Ningbo, I started to feel a little reluctant to go back. Though I miss my family, my home, my king size bed, my car, my housemates aka colleagues, and most importantly Malaysia's food..... I wonder why does good bye always come after I finally get used to some places and the moment I start to get familiar with the people here and starts having friends that can hang out together. 

~nong~

莫文尉 外面的世界

~yurikaz~

270216

I used to come here and write stuff when I feel frustrated or sad. Since when have I forgot this habit of writing little things which I usually like? The last post I wrote here was on April 2015. Since then, I came here open new post then delete.. Open new post and delete again. I fear to write because I cant seem to find the right words to express my feeling.. Or maybe I am just too lazy to write.

I used to feel calm when I am here, listening to the music I have chosen myself suitable to chill and think about my life. Is this why I feel lost recently? Because I have not sit down for a moment and think about what I should do next and whether what I am heading now is correct? 

I used to imagine my life, sometimes regret but most of the time accept and look forward. But I am trapped now, in my own fantasy.

I used to have a clear vision on what I want, what I do and what will I get from it. It seems that I have lost this ability for now..

Wish I could find my courage back... 

~yurikaz~

Oh, here I am again!

Yes, I am back and this is going to be a sad post and spoiler to the Fast and Furious 7. =)

This might be the hottest topic among friends asking have you watch Furious 7? or what is your comment on the movie when you say you had.

Well, this is one movie that I went for the actor instead of the movie itself. I am not a really Fast and Furious fan though I watched all of them. I just like the cars and the actions, logic? nah its a MOVIE!

I see Paul Walker as Paul Walker instead of Brian O' Conner in this movie. And with this, a lot of scenes become so emotional. Seeing them attending to Han's funeral and saying that that would be the last one indicating they don't want to lost one more of their family member. Seeing Paul himself saying there will be only one more funeral and that would be Shaw's. Seeing him talking to Mia like he will be gone forever and the truth is he never will although he did came back to them in the movie. Seeing him playing with his kid and the happy moments with his family makes me cried even harder. 

Is just that, this team, makes the Fast and Furious becomes Fast and Furious. And it will never be the same again losing anyone of them. They planted the characters so well in my mind till I couldn't accept any other actor to play the same character.

I like how they all stand here facing the town they familiar with to fight with their enemy. Somehow it makes me think their spirit will remain.

The ending song was nice and it actually makes me feel like crying again.. >.<

One day, I shall find a time to rewatch the whole series again.

May you rest in peace. A lot of us will miss you =)

~nong~

断了线的风筝

也许，人生有时候就像那断了线的风筝…

不似那脱轨火车车毁人亡的结局

少了原先的导航

它也许还能飞得更高更远

也可能下一秒就摔在烂泥里

没有明确的目标

不止迷惘，还有点彷徨

只能在起风时，抓紧机会让自己展翅高飞

不保证顺利，但肯定精彩

不保证辉煌，但肯定灿烂

~yurikaz~

棉花糖《陪你到世界的終結》

好久没来了，上来分享一下歌曲
喜欢这首歌的旋律，还有那轻轻柔柔的嗓音

重复地听着，好像真的穿过时光隧道
回到那个拿着棉花糖骑在旋转木马上的时光
特别地轻快，特别地写意

再多10几天，就要完全脱离念书的生涯。
阿姨那天说，快要脱离苦海咯~ 我说：然后跳向另一个苦海…
好多人都说，珍惜你在学校的时光，等你出来工作你会怀念…
好几次都想，这种老套的话就不需要一直重复了。
再怎么怀念也回不到过去，也无所谓珍惜不珍惜。

~yurikaz~

无法攥紧的…

随着越来越多社交网站的存在，写博客的人相对地减少了。是啊，微博什么的确实是方便多了。可是，还是习惯开着我自己的博客听着歌打些有的没的。每个人都太忙了，谁能真正地停下脚步静下心来听一些无关紧要的牢骚呢？而，那些加了一堆有的没的的社交网站与明星的舞台太过相似。也许，越来越多人需要引起众人的关注从而获得些许安慰吧？翻开电话联络簿，从中学开始到现在认识的朋友，即使有些很久没有联络了；即使他们可能换了电话却还是让它静静地躺在联络簿里不想让它消失。仿佛只要删了就连最后一点联系也断了… 可是，真正可以厚着脸皮不管三更半夜都把人吵起来听你说胡话的应该连一个也没有吧？

有时候，只是想说一说。可是亲近的人听了会担心，陌生的人听了也许幸灾乐祸，有点熟的听了也许只想着随便给点建议把你打发… 好多时候，都在听别人说。曾经在无意中发现原来我给别人的印象是那么的阳光，好似不管有什么烦恼都能很轻松地就让我解决掉了。想说，那也只是事不关己而已所以才能说得那么轻松啊。某人曾经说过，你也会耍忧郁的吗？（俗称 emo ）我以为你与这种东西无缘？是啊，我与 emo 无缘可是我也没有责任要逗别人开心啊。小丑的眼泪都遮掩在那个永远很大很阳光的笑容背后啊… 是什么时候开始，再也不把自己的不开心和别人说了呢？其实，那些把别人的不开心当成笑话到处宣扬的人很可恶。

习惯，有时还真是个可怕的东西啊？习惯了你给予的温暖，想抽身是才发现不知何时已经从岸上走入了泥泞。越使力想要爬出反而陷得越深… 总是担心这样攥着不属于自己的气球，它们会因爲太过渴望飞向蓝天的自由而自我毁灭~ 所以，我好像越来越懦弱越来越胆小了呢； 因爲害怕被抛弃所以宁愿自己先对别人残忍；因爲害怕被伤害所以为了保护自己而先伤害别人；到底是什么时候，开始学习刺猬般总是卷缩这身体将最尖利的武器向着外面呢？对不起，对于那些被我有意无意刺伤的人；即使，道歉也许也无法挽回什么。可是，还是无可避免地总是逃避现实，当着那以为将头埋到沙堆里就没事的鸵鸟。

这一圈网地，我的。想在这里写废话；发泄；乱写都是我的事。不爱看的自己跳过！

~yurikaz~

其实，现在心情不好很想哭啊~ 都怪某人在那里乱说什么我只是同情他……同情心才没有那么泛滥好吗？（抱膝）

Random #11

久违了，雨后的宁静…

~yurikaz~

Random #10

热得令人睡不着的夜晚；热得让人觉得烦躁的夜晚；好像都很适合到海边去吹吹海风喝喝啤酒…

以前，因爲很随性的一句话结果阿公和黄先生就很配合地三个人半夜三更跑到海边吹海风的日子好像回不来了…

也对啦，谁会真的像我们那么疯狂说走就走~ 那时候只是在和阿公闲聊抱怨很久没去吹海风了，然后阿公说：走，现在刚好得空。然后短信住在附近的黄先生：喂，上MSN，有东西要和你说！

黄先生说：真的假的？你们不要作弄我！我说：真的啦真的啦，你们走不走？结果两个大男人说：等我冲凉。。。== 

不过，最后还真的成行了…我换衣说要去PD 的时候室友看着我：你在开玩笑？！现在半夜12点了！！

我也觉得我在开玩笑，可是事实就是有这些和你一样疯狂的朋友其实是很好玩的事情。至少当时我是坐在海边吹海风而不是像现在这样因爲天气太热，滚了好久都睡不着……（事后，黄先生说当时收到我那么简短的信息吓了一下以为我脚断了等着他载我去医院…想说，真的脚断了就不会浪费时间叫你上线了好吗？@@）

啊，忘了当时听到我们的电话大声讲：sot 的啊你们？！可是最后还是跑来38 的杜先生~

感恩，我的人生里有你们为我添加一笔又一笔美丽的回忆！=)

对了，当时阿公很坚持说要为这个相册取一个很爆炸性的名字，结果呕心沥血：他妈的超疯狂刺激沙滩夜游记 就此成立~ 当时明明就说别 po 在 facebook 的，因爲我会被老妈轰炸~ 结果他们竟然。。。（都是某个笨蛋阿公惹的祸，你没事加我妈的Fb 告状干嘛啦 >.<


~yurikaz~

27012014

The very long duration exam period has finally ended on 21st January. The mood to study has totally gone and the only feeling I had before having the last paper was: Time passes to slow, I cant wait to go into the exam hall and finish this one last paper. Though I thought most of them had finish their exam, but yea, library is still crowded with people. And some of them just don't know the meaning of 'Silent zone' which make me feel like giving them a punch right into their face. >.< 

I know I used to say that I will never go library to study back in year 1. I rather stay inside my room or just go to the kitchen to study just to avoid these kind of 'sound pollution' which pisses me off. But, after moving out from uni hostel, the room is just too hot and the tables are getting smaller and smaller after I move again to TTS 5. Whatever.. Its final year and its going to end soon and who knows I shall be missing every single thing in the future including exams. =x

Went laboratory for another trial experiment right after the last paper, which this room in block N where we conduct our experiment shall be another frequent place to be visited in the next sem. At least, its not only library, tcr anymore? Seriously, I feel so lifeless..lol 

Though we shall have another experiment starting on 23rd till 25th which I will usually just stay there..But...I just wanted to go back so badly..so yea..called back, wondering whether my dad will be at Bangi so that he can fetch me back. Line busy, called mum and told her then she said: oppsss, papa is on the way back and is almost reaching already. So, I said I might go back tomorrow but need to come back uni on 23rd for another experiment and then she said: Wait! I am confused. So you need to be at uni on 23rd then why are you coming back for just only one day??? So.... I cannot go back is it? I shouted and mum realised what she had just said and start to chuckle on the other side of the phone. Yes, yes, come back if you want.

Well, went back home, had a great meal and my sister turn to me: You purposely come back to wash the dishes is it? (That day was Tuesday..) Staring at her: No! I wouldn't come back if I can remember today is Tuesday..lol who cares about doing dishes anyway as long as I am at home =)

Found this very big pooh lying on my side of bed every time I go back... Guess that stupid sister just couldn't stand the pooh sleeping on the not-so-comfy-chair alone huh..?

  

While me and ph was waiting for the fabrication of the device on 24th, both of us were so boring until we went walking around the campus, chilling at the tv room in radius with the sunlight striking our eyes from behind the tv (so not strategy place to hang the tv there). So we decided to go library, borrow some CDs and have some movie session before we go swimming. The usual very crowded library were left empty with only tables and chairs and books without any single human sign (errr...I mean students) since there were no more exams and courseworks to be submitted. 

Watched Adam Sandler's movie: Just go with it. Like his usual movie: funny, warm and a little touched with a happy ending. I always like to watch Jennifer Aniston thinking that she has a very sweet smile. It was truly enjoyable seeing both of my favourite actors starring in one movie..=)

~nong~